86 Things I've Said on Twitter, Part 8

This is the eighth post in a series. You can read the entire series by going through the '86 Things' tag on the blog. For the curious, there's only one more part to go. I know, it's been a long read, but I appreciate you doing it.

Let's get right to it.

I swear on your choice of holy object, you really don't want to use the passive voice 8 times out of 10. (exceptions possible) 

The problem with the passive voice is that it makes the action unclear. "Had been cooking" dilutes the idea that someone was cooking, just as "was thinking" separates us from the notion that thought occurred.

Now yes, there are times when you need to frame a verb passively, because the sentence won't make sense without it:

"I was cleaning when the phone rang." 

But the focus of the sentence, the item we're looking for when we read is the action of the sentence -- what's going on in this string of words, and how can I mentally translate into images so that I may continue to enjoy this creation? So why then would you make the action unclear?

Conveying action effectively both helps paint the picture you're intending AND moves us further along the page and deeper into the story. Which is what you want. In case you weren't sure. The stronger verbs (not the word choice this time, but the conjugation of the verb) are clearer.

"I ran."
"We danced."
"They bowled."

All three are clear, strong and direct. They're feasible when you're trying to paint a declarative picture.

"My legs had carried me far when the dog stopped chasing me."
"We had danced before, but never like this."
"Bowling had been fun."

Yes, those three are accurate sentences. They're grammatically correct. Each has their place in writing. But their place is NOT THE SAME PLACE as the first three examples.

Knowing when to go passive and when to be active is critical for engaging the reader and keeping them hooked throughout all the twists, turns, ups and downs of you work. Building that push/pull relationship is part of what connects readers to a writer's style and helps generate a fan base that persists across multiple books, series or projects.

Let the story develop at the pace that works best for it. Micro-managing leads to disaster and stalled projects. Let it be. 

I worked on a disaster of a project once -- 15 writers (or was it 18), our budget was literally whatever we had in our wallets, and it was not a fun three-month process. And no, I'm not entirely proud of the work, because although it was a "learning experience" (I cannot make air-quotes big enough for that), it broke every rule I believe in: no contract, no pay, no contingency plans, shoddy equipment, no consistent schedule, etc).

It was also the first time I was ever truly micro-managed to the point of wanting to throw things. I am not a guy who deals well with that style of management: the constant hovering and checking-in, the lack of freedom to really be myself and feel like I'm a valued contributor, the lack of respect paid to who each of us are and what we bring to this project in terms of expertise and previous work. I swore off that sort of project when it was done, and I swore off ever working in that way ever again. Yeah, it was THAT bad (if you see me at a convention this summer, you'll have to ask me for details).

The problem was that managing the creation of the project so rigidly did not create the product it was supposed to. I can think of four occasions where people were told "Do it this way", even if their sensibility or their talent suggested another way worked better. This was usually said by people who had never managed something like that before, who had no real practical experience trusting themselves, or who were they themselves products of a rigid system.

Creative projects are at their heart, organic. They grow, in whatever direction you let them. This doesn't mean they should grow without boundaries or borders or limits or some sort of structure, but this does mean you shouldn't try to shoe-horn a story together when it clearly becomes something else as you create it.

Yeah, some parts of your story are going to come you more naturally or more excitedly than other parts. Some parts will be read faster than others. Placing a stranglehold on your own ideas and screaming "Work this way!" is a lot like yelling at your plant in the window for not growing like the picture on the packet of seeds (which is something I've seen happen).

Trust yourself to be able to let the story go in whatever direction it needs to go in order to be told. Don't force it down some path, don't break it in order to fit that vision you had way back on Day 1. Stories change and grow just as authors do. Let them.

Queries should get to the damned point. Breezy queries lead to thick slush. 

I am wordy. I am long-winded. This is both because I love the sound of my own voice (not even close to true) and because I love talking (totally true). And when I write, I tend to over-write, mixing a blend of casual we're-just-hanging-out with this-is-how-you-do-things. I mean, really, have you seen my blog posts? Some of them go on for days.

But that's all because I have the luxury of time and space. I can afford to say what I want for as long as I want, because I'm given wide open space here on the blog and because I run my own workshops.

Query letters though do not have such luxury. You get a page. ONE page. At absolute most 250 words, and every word counts. Each word works with the words to the left and right, above and below for the purpose of making the manuscript they're attached to appealing to the reader.

If your query doesn't entice the would-be reader to pick up the manuscript, then your path to publication (in one model of publishing) ends there. And even if you aren't pursuing that route to publication, the skill of writing a tight, seductive query letter is a good one, like for when you have to write business proposals or letters explaining why you can't attend boring family functions.

One page. Seriously. You can do it. It can be taught. You can learn how to do it. (Note: I also teach how to do it, you know, if you're interested.)

No, don't send them your first draft. Send them the best polished draft. Do it right if you're going to do it at all. 

If you want to get published, and you're taking a route that puts your work into the hands of an agent and a big publisher, the work you send them has to be in the best possible and most complete shape. That means the story has to be completely written, shouldn't have spelling and grammatical mistakes and should have all the parts in it that it needs to in order to make sense.

Just like you wouldn't play a full-contact sport against pros without training or preparation, so too can you ill-afford to just dive into publication by sending off incomplete, error-laden work.

How can you ensure that your best work goes out? GET AN EDITOR. Don't know any? Here's one. And another. And another. And another. And another.

It's our job to help you take your work and get it into the best shape possible so that you can do whatever you want with it and so that it may be enjoyed by readers.

Yeah, I know, you've been told that once you sign that contract, there will be an editor assigned to your work. Or that your agent is your editor. Or that editing is something that comes AFTER you say yes to the deal. And yeah, sometimes, that's all true.

But if the goal is to get your work published, and you want someone to say yes to your work, wouldn't you want it in the best shape possible, so that it's easier for them to say yes?

Make the job easier, not harder. Put your best foot/work forward. Ask an editor for help. (The ones I mentioned are the best I've ever worked with.)

When sending out queries, do your homework. Make sure the query receiver actually TAKES what you're submitting (check their site!) 

Okay, not every agent or publisher publishes everything. Just because they're called a "publisher" doesn't mean that anytime someone sends them a manuscript they run off to the press in their basement and churn out page upon page with gleams of satisfaction in their eyes.

Publishers are allowed to publish whatever they want, even if that means saying "No." to one type of manuscript. Just like authors, who may prefer to write in one style or genre over another. See how that works outs?

So when you've written a particular story, find a publisher who publishes that kind of story.

It's not hard. It does take some digging. Either in the Writer's Market, or more accurately, by doing some investigative Google searches for submission guidelines. Yes, you can find a publisher for nearly every genre and type of story, if you look hard enough. (And if you're going to email me and say you can't find a publisher, then either you need to broaden your search or improve your story so that it can be more easily classified).

Make the job of publication easier on everyone involved. It makes a huge difference.

Not all your ideas are unpolished gemstones. Sometimes they're just ideas that you can tweak/cut/hack to make other gems shinier.

I'm sitting in my office right now, and if you look to the left of the chair, on a small re-purposed nightstand, you'll see a whole stack of legal pads and steno pads. These are my idea books. You may also have seen me carry a smaller version in my back pocket when at conventions.

When some idea explodes in my brain, I write it down. Sometimes those ideas are really clear -- "a mechanical system that divides an eight-sided die into the 8 types of affirmative action" or they're vague -- "spy apparat". All the same, they get written down.

Most of those ideas won't go anywhere. But sometimes, when someone calls me or emails me and we start talking about doing a project together, I can say to them, "Oh yeah, I think I have a mechanic or a plot or an idea that can help us out here." It's an immense time saver, but also a huge boost to the future creativity because I already have a jumping-off point.

Because I keep a stack of ideas around, I'm able to draw on them when I need to. (I should point out that behind me I have a filing cabinet labeled "Things to do to characters" and another labeled "Feelings"). A lot of the folders in those cabinets have one or two articles in them, or a page or two of notes that I might never go through until I have to empty the cabinet out. But having that resource on hand helps me to feel more creative and feel more successful about being creative. (And yes, I do have giant binders labeled "Poison" "Gunshot" "Fire" "Stabbing", because information is a good thing to collect, right? Like Pokemon?)

Hey people who want "realistic" characters in your writing: Are they eating regularly? How about the last time they brushed their teeth?

I love realism in my films, where the world the characters inhabit, and what happens to them feels like my world, so that I can leave the theater or walk out my door and maybe have the possibility of running into them on the street. Or something. You know, like if the Doctor showed up for lunch, I'd totally be down for that.

There's a downside to realism though, at least when it's misinterpreted. Don't confuse realism (obeying practical constraints and limitations, physics, science, technology and social climate) for over-saturation of facts.

An action thriller about people unraveling a conspiracy in the post office is going to be slightly marred and slowed down by the half-page you wrote telling the audience about how someone flosses. The love story that takes place only during summers over the course of ten years can get bogged down when you detail the tuna salad someone eats on page eight.

Details do not make realism. Realism comes from the context and application of those details -- what you do about the details makes things real or not.

The blending of details (small or large) with their application is what makes the scene feel more lived in, and the world more natural.

Building your own world is great. Want to make that world feel real? Give the sandbox some borders. What can't it do?

On the flip side of the realism coin, there's nothing wrong with making your own world. The downside here is in the freedom. You can make anything from a city in the clouds, to an ice planet with caves, to I don't know, a planet made entirely of string cheese and crackers.

But while you're showing the reader all about what the world can do, to give some context and make the reader (and presumably the main character, who may be a fish out of water) feel like they can handle the scope of the creation, show the limitations of the world. Yeah your created world might be a technocracy or an oligarchy of fish people, but how does it fit into the greater picture? Is it one fiefdom in a country, one state in a union, one continent on a planet, one planet in a solar system, one galaxy in all of existence?

Showing the borders is not showing weakness, it's showing strength. By defining how big the sandbox is, we can instead focus on all the detail within the borders. It draws our attention back to what's important and lets the real work shine.

Thriller writers - Tweaking word choice + sentence length will do wonders for your pacing.

Here's how you build tension: you vary your sentence length. Pick strong words. Fragment. Hype. Explore the power of words. Push the scene with longer sentences. Speed up with shorter ones. Push. Pull.

(see what I did there?)

Romance writers - No, there really aren't that many world-weary young women. For serious.

I don't normally dive into romance novels. They're not aimed at me, I don't normally encounter them in the development process, and in general, I don't walk past those aisles at the bookstore. But I am aware of the tropes, in particular the one about your female protagonist who's young but somehow already weary and an old soul.

I get it, writers, that's you. You're that character, only transplanted into a younger body, but still possessing your mature mind. This gives you a chance to escape a little, indulge some fantasy and play "what-if", which is central to the genre.

But how many times are we going to tread this ground?

There's nothing wrong with writing a not-world-weary character. It might be a little more work, it might be hard to resist the temptation to make her snark and spurn the advances and situations she find herself in, but it is possible - and you do have the talent to pull it off.

Tell your best story, and no you don't have to cover the same ground as everyone else. Honest.

The final part of this series will go up Monday. Happy writing. Enjoy your weekend. 

How To Tell You're Working With A Good Editor

Good afternoon everyone,

Today's blogpost is a result of my reading Amanda's excellent explanation of how a bad editor can be a huge hindrance for your work and your craft. This prompted me to think about how you can tell good editors from bad editors. I thought of four main distinguishing characteristics.

Now if you're working with an editor already, and these things aren't happening, I'm not saying you should kick the editor to the curb, but definitely have a talk about the relationship you have, how it's working and where you want it to go. Your work ultimately should be the best it can be, and the people you bring on board should help, not hinder this process.


I. They're willing to explain not only WHAT'S wrong, but WHY it's wrong - I'm probably going to draw flak for this, since a lot of editors decry "I'm so busy!" or "I shouldn't have to hold hands!" but I'm not talking about this in terms of walking a writer through every tense shift and incorrect verb. I'm talking about the bigger picture issues of plot structure, word choice and paragraph construction. That's not hand-holding, that's doing the job you're paid to do. If you explain why it's wrong, then the writer can learn to not make the mistake in the future, and everyone wins.

II. They do more than proofread - Editing is more than pressing F7 or skimming something and looking for obvious typos and errors. Proofreading is ONE part of the editorial toolbox (as is wonderfully explained by this handy infographic), and sadly a lot of "editors" (note the quotes) are glorified proofreaders. You have to go past just the correctness of the words and get into the context and subtext of what's written, looking to see if what's meant is being said (and vice versa). Editing is as much an art as writing, albeit with different brush and color palette.

III. They can distinguish between different types of editing and can tell you what sort of edit best benefits the manuscript in question - As that infographic points out there are different types of editing (I would go one further and distinguish line editing from copy and substantive, but that's just me, and I'm old school), and knowing which to apply to a manuscript is as much experiential as intuitive -- yes for big, bloated, error-filled manuscripts you want to dive in substantively and rebuild it from the foundation, but when a manuscript isn't so error-plagued, an editor shouldn't suggest a purgative and reconstructive effort when all that's off is a few words every now and then and maybe a strange flashback that needs massaging.  An editor too eager to rebuild what isn't broken shows inexperience and a lack of respect for a project.

IV. They make the manuscript sound the way the manuscript is meant to, NOT make it sound the way THEY want - Rewriting (gasp!) is something that happens in editing. Words get put in, chopped out and shuffled around. Yes, there are suggestions for changes in tone or tenor, but there's also going to be an editor's changes in-text. It's a dangerous power for sure, as someone can blot out a whole page and rewrite it in an entirely new way...but before panic takes you, remember these are just suggestions (and they should come with a reason, see above) and if they're trying to rewrite it the way they think -- then they're not doing their job. Editing isn't writing. Editing is making existing writing better. I don't mean that there should be zero rewrites within a manuscript (that's just not possible, especially in early drafts), I mean that the tone of the rewrite should reflect the original text, not take it on a Mr Toad's Wild Ride to some new arena that isn't the manuscript's intention.

Authors, I hope this demystifies a little what an editor should do, can do and is capable of doing. Editors, I hope this educates a little and reins in what I've seen to be as overstepping boundaries and doing harm to author-editor relations.

Happy writing.

What Not To Say To An Editor, Part 2

Last week, I wrote Part 1 of this series. This is Part 2.

For the people just coming on board now, I'm an editor. (It's not my only job, but it's a good one) And what I'm detailing here are things you shouldn't say, write or mention in your correspondence with me (or other editors, but I'm speaking mostly from personal experience). The following statements are BIG HUGE RED FLAGS that will often lead you to rejection, suspicion of being creepy, uncomfortable work situations and becoming an example of what not to do.

Take note, good readers.

"I'm not sure you're worth it." This has only been said to me four times, and each time was a new experience in uncomfortable and bad times. If you (prospective client) and I are talking, and you heave a sigh (which is totally visible when you type, if you're curious) and then drop that bomb on me, I used to freak out and then spend inordinate amounts of time justifying why we should be working together.

When I was struggling for work and was way too busy helping other people without actually succeeding, I was always working uphill for paychecks, wondering when I'd be able to have some money in my pocket. And that absence of cash (which admittedly is a good thing to have on hand, say when you want to go out on a date or buy a burrito or purchase a video game), really turned me into a doubt factory. I doubted whether or not I was good enough to do this job, if I should get a "real" job, if I should just give all my time and energy to this relationship so that someone will love me, etc etc. Basically, being poor and thinking that having money equaled success (newsflash: it doesn't, sorry Gordon Gekko) made me think I wasn't worth much of anything -- so I'd always have to prove that I was good "enough" to a person / place / relationship / job / client / ice cream sundae so that I didn't have to walk away in shame and hide myself in a cave or something.

The point is -- that's a shitty attitude to have. And if you or I spend our time forever justifying whether or not we're worth it to other people, we're not going to have the time or the energy to actually do the things we wanted to do in the first place. (Side note - sometimes those people you're trying to be good enough for just aren't worth it. For realsies.)

So, if you say "I'm not sure you're worth it." what you're really saying is "I'm not sure I'm/the work/your potential to change my work is worth the commitment to improving, since I'm really scared about doing this because it might succeed or it might fail and discovering that really makes me uncomfortable since it is not what I am used to."

You're worth it.
Your work is worth it.

"I've been editing on my own for years, what good is your help?" I've been doing a lot of things myself for years. I built the desk I'm writing this on. I just ate some food I made the other night. But you know what's nice? Not having to do that. Letting someone else take care of a task for you is nice, and gives you more time to other things (like bathe and knit and golf). Also, if you come look at this desk I'm writing on, it's not a bad desk, but doesn't even come close to the super-desk in the other part of the office that dates back from Ellis Island and the 1880s. That thing weighs in the hundreds of pounds and was built with more skill than I thought a man could have. I trust that construction and that work far more than I trust my own, and likewise, you should trust people do the job they're good at. Anyone can screw together an IKEA desk and it'll be serviceable, but for really awesome work, go to a professional.

"If you edit my work, it won't be the same. I'll lose the voice/tone/feel/structure/vibe/sound I want." Let me just clear up a misconception about editing. What I do is make YOUR work clearer and stronger. Editing is not me coming into your work and changing it the way I want it, editing is refining your work so that it can be enjoyed by others the way you intended.

What happens when you hand me work is that you and I talk. And we figure out what you're trying to do in the story or the chapter or across several pieces of story or whatever, but basically we map out what's going on, and how you want it to be seen/experienced by the audience. Then I go back to my lair and educe that desired experience from the text. Yes, that means I might chop up sentences, delete whole paragraphs and suggest that entire characters get the boot. So, you're right, it won't be the same. Things will have changed, but that's on purpose - the changes are there to help you get your point across, get your ideas out there and get that voice/tone/feel/etc etc broadcast.

"Can I pay you a little up front and then more when I sign my book deal?" Now if this were fifteen years ago, and book deals still had large sums of cash attached, I'd say yes. But, in today's industry, and with traditional book publishing not being the cashcow it used to be, my answer is NO.You can pay me over time if you absolutely have to, or you can pay me when the job's done like everyone else. I don't want to wait for your ship to come in weeks/months/years from now and you just happen to get around and write me a check. Pay your editors, support us, and help us help you.

"[INSERT TITLE OF BOOK OR NAME OF WEBSITE HERE] says that I should get an agent and then let them handle the editing, so I like, don't need you." Ahh, the agent quandary. Here's where things get a little murky. Not because I don't know an answer to this, but because there are several answers and people don't always like them. Here we go:

a) Not every book needs an agent, it depends on what the author wants to do with it (if you're self-publishing and only need like 40 copies for example, then no, you don't need an agent).
b) Not every agent is (gasp!) a good editor (likewise not every editor is a good agent).
c)Not every book and/or website is going to be useful for you. (Be discriminating. Educate yourself with a variety of sources then make your decisions.)

There's also a fourth element here: That in order for an agent to pick up your manuscript, it should be in the best shape of its life. That means free of glaring errors, formatted correctly, and engaging with the best story and characters possible. Getting an editor to help you make that happen goes a long way to securing the agent and all those other steps down the line.

"My work is perfect, and I don't ever need an editor. I don't change a thing, and I just send it straight to Amazon. You can buy my things here, here and here - (and the rest of the email is basically a sales letter)." I'm very happy for you. Honestly, I'm glad you've distilled down the formerly scary publishing process to a few mouse clicks after you spend a few afternoons writing.

(I should point out that the above quote came paraphrased from an email that also included a sentence "I don't know what's so hard about being prolific, I already have several books published in under XYZ years." - and yes I got permission to tell you this.)

Publishing your work shouldn't be so scary that you're discouraged from doing it, but it shouldn't also be so simple that there's no talent or craft required to do it. And if you do as much reading/trawling/searching through Amazon as I do, you may encounter a lot of self-published authors with a dearth of books....and a matching stack of 1-star reviews, that often include comments about poor story structure, weak writing, bad grammar and being a general waste of money. Hiring an editor can prevent a great deal of this before it happens, the caveat being that in order to avoid ignominy as the one-star-Amazon-author, you have to exercise your brain and talent muscles to produce work and get it edited so that it's in a better than first-draft-shape.

And for the record, no one's work is ever 100% perfect on the first draft. It's just not. Expect it to grow, change and evolve as your tastes, skills and other factors (like a reader or time) influence it.

I hope you've found this helpful.

Happy writing.

Question Asked & Answered - How can I help you help me?

I occasionally get asked questions with answers that should be shared with other people. This is one of those times.

Andy asked, "I'm writing a manuscript (disclosure - I will one day have it done and send it to you), until it's done, what are the best things I can do (editing, preparation, etc) to make your future job easier?"

This is a common question. And I know a lot people who edit-as-they-write, either over the course of each sentence as they write it, or at the end of a spurt of writing when they can sit down and go through the day's pages. I'm not always sure which is "better", since both can be either helpful (in catching simple mistakes) or detrimental (they're stall tactics to keep you from finishing or they're just ways to heap a sense of failure onto your shoulders), but assuming that whatever you're doing is working for you, there are other things you can do to make my life (and whatever editor you work with) easier.

Behold, a list.

1. Check your spelling. This is the easiest step, and probably the one most avoided. The majority of programs now provide you with very happy red squiggles under a word for a reason, and even if the dictionary is inaccurate, take the time to make it accurate. It's one less obstacle to overcome and one more 'check mark' in the professional column for you.

2. Ask questions. If you're going to blind-submit to me (which is totally an option, but I can almost guarantee you it will be an exercise in patience for you), or if you're planning on submitting work, make sure you've asked some questions. What questions? These:

1. What format would you (the editor) like to receive the manuscript in?
2. How would you (the editor) like to be paid?
3. In what format will I (the author) receive feedback?
4. When can I (the author) expect that feedback?
5. What sort of comments should I expect to see as feedback?
6. Is there some sort of contract or agreement we make/sign for this?  

Yes there are loads more questions, I just gave you the first 6 that popped into my head as the first 6 I usually see or reply to. By asking these questions, and actually paying attention to the answers (more on that in a minute) a relationship between author and editor is built and the product of that relationship will be (hopefully) an improved manuscript.

3. Follow instructions. The majority of rejections and ignored manuscripts occur not because the work wasn't any good, but because the submitter didn't follow whatever directions necessary when sending the submission wherever they sent it. If you can't follow directions, then the editor/author relationship is not going to go well. This is not said so that you think all editors are dictators bent on ruining your work, but so that you're aware that the reason there are submission guidelines is often NOT arbitrary and often VERY important.

Now if you don't know what you need to do or need to send for a submission, ask. It may take extra time (an extra email, for example), but it will be worth it.

For example, here are my guidelines:

1. Digital submissions preferred, older Word formats especially welcomed.
2. No Mac .pages or similar. Also, no PDFs. 
3. If you have to print it out, DO NOT bind your manuscripts.
4. If you have to print it out, DO NOT expect your printed manuscript returned to you in the pristine state you send it.
5. When you send your manuscript, include in your email at least 2 ways to contact you (phone, social media).
6. When you send your manuscript, include also the word count, title and genre.

That's it. Why do I ask those things? Here's why.

1. I have several old computers that I work from. They do not all have the newest version of Word installed.
2. I no longer own a Mac (it's on the list to-be-bought)
3. On a print manuscript, I go through and write on/all over the pages. I need access to the individual pages.
4. I write on things. A lot.
5. I need to know how to reach you, and don't like playing just email or phone tag.
6. I need to know what you're planning to do with the manuscript, because that helps me know how to help you improve it.

(Fred Hicks really turned me onto this idea of transparency, and I'm really making an effort to be better at that, in addition to my on going efforts to mind my tone and be a good representative of myself, my business and my clients.  It's an addictive, positive thing.)

4. Pay. There are bills to pay. This is my job. Writing your book may not be your only full-time job, but editing IS my only job. Prompt payment is appreciated. (Note: I know times are tough, if money is tight or could become tight, the best policy is to TALK ABOUT IT, and make it a non-issue. I personally am a lot happier and more comfortable knowing that it might be an extra week or two for that check to arrive if I know in advance.)

5. Respect is a two-way street. When I take you on as a client, even if we disagree over something in the manuscript (like I think you should change a verb or flip something around and you think I should go lick an outlet), I'm not going to jump online and air our problems out for people to hear. Likewise, in the event that the money gets tight, or it's been a while since you cut me a check, I'm not using this blog to out you as some kind of non-paying ne'er-do-well. I respect you, and protect our relationship. Do the same for me.

6. Understand that I am going to talk about our successes. When things are rocking and good, I'm going to talk about it. I'll hop on Twitter and talk about the great day or how much I enjoy the work we're doing. And when the manuscript becomes a book and people can go buy it, I'm definitely going to talk about it.

Example: See this? I worked on this. It's awesome. And you should buy it, because I know of no other story where a spunky heroine waps a raptor with a wrench.

The same is true for any promotional work you do, or any crowd-sourcing efforts. I will back your Kickstarter, tell my friends and family about the project(s), and generally drum up good buzz. It's a good thing. I'm not doing this to call you out or put you on the spot, it's what I do to help OUR project succeed.

7. Do your best. A lot of people think an editor's job is to take whatever tangle of words you put on paper, in whatever form, and build a successful book/game/website/presentation/whatever from it. True, yes, I can do that, given enough time and with enough planning. But that's not what my job is - if it was, I'd just be writing FOR you, which I'm so not doing. Now, I'm not going to be petty and say "If you don't do a good job, I won't either", because that's exactly the behavior I'm looking to avoid, but I cannot stress that if you want me to take you seriously and professionally, then you need to do your best. Write your best, even if that's not perfect. Put together the best story you can. If there are imperfections or holes or problems, admit them up front so we can work on them. Don't half-ass this. Don't quit either.

If you do those seven things, the editor/author relationship thrives. And I agree with the prevailing sentiment that the relationship should be a collaborative one, not one where the editor goes for the jugular and breaks the writer down no matter who they are. That's not healthy. That's not writing. That's power-tripping. And it smacks of not-actually-knowing-what-the-craft-and-point-of-writing-and-editing-is-ness.

What Not To Send An Editor, Part 3

Previously (here and here) I've talked about what you should not send an editor or an agent. That list continues today. Let's rock this list like it was organized by a rock star librarian.

1. Please DO NOT send a query letter or manuscript written by hand. This has two effects: If your handwriting is tiny and scratchy, you may look somewhat crazy. Also, this makes you appear like you're afraid of technology. The problem is that if you've sent me a hard-copy (for example) we would have had to correspond, and that's usually by email.

2. Please DO NOT send a printed/bound softcover version of your book. Yes I know there are GREAT services out there that allow you to produce a book with minimal investment. And I'm glad you made use of them. The problem is that you didn't send me a manuscript (which I work on), you sent me a book, which is not the same thing.

3. Please DO NOT send photos of your children/pets holding signs saying I should read your work or take you on as a client. When I get a stack of photos in the mail, I usually look for the ransom demands or the photo that includes the line, "Or else I'll be beaten" and then consider calling the police. Do not play on sympathies to get your work advanced.

4. Please DO NOT include rejection letters with your work. Okay, you've been rejected. But sending your emotional baggage along with your work is not the best way to start a relationship if you want the relationship to be healthful and helpful. And for the record, I shred those letters, especially if you've added commentary like "Stupid bitch" or "Damn faggot" in the margins after I write the original sender a note.

5. Please DO NOT offer me favors that are in fact threats on other people. Do not tell me you're "going to take care of X person or Y person" for me if I take you on. I might not like X or Y person, they may not like me...but that's not really for you to worry about (this is especially troubling if you happen to mention people I've dated, who I KNOW don't like me now). Basically, threatening others to incent to me work with you is not happening. I just call the police.

6. Please DO NOT include hateful things about my friends along with your manuscript. (This is not me reverse bragging, I do have a point here) I know a lot of celebrities and semi-celebrities. Yes, many of those people may have different sexual, racial, religious, political or alcoholic preferences than you do. You don't have to disparage them (or their opinions, lifestyles or beliefs) to prove you're a tough person. It won't encourage me to respond.

NOTE - If you're going to question my sexuality or habits (insisting that I must enjoy the company of same sex partners or that I am in fact a person who has sex with female parents or that I lack 'racial purity' if I don't take you on as a client) you're absolutely not getting a response.

7. Please DO NOT include "things you think I might like" along with your submission. I am a nerd. I do not hide this fact. Lately, I've stopped hiding the fact I enjoy really good food. And I remain an ardent Xbox enthusiast. If you want me to work with you, just send the work. You do not need to go out of your way to include new Xbox games, thumb drives, pens, mugs, catalogs for bathrobes, sex toys or whatever else "you saw and it made you think of me". Let's just talk about work, shall we?

NOTE - I will likely not send the thumb drives or pens back. 

8. Please DO NOT send daily follow-ups. I receive mail everyday. I do my best to take about 2 hours to go through my mail and sort from it packages and manuscripts and all kinds of not-bills from it. After paying the bills, everything else gets prioritized and either delegated or answered. I do this DAILY. The mail here locally is known to be slow. I cannot predict when I'm going to get your package, let alone what specific time of that day I'm going to have time to sit down and respond to it. Calling me EVERY DAY after you've sent it is NOT going to encourage me to move faster towards your material. (You should though follow up about 3 to 4 days later with anyone you've sent material to but not heard back from).

9. Please DO NOT send "art" along with your manuscript. I put art in quotes because I'm not talking about book covers or graphic files. I mean the map of your fantasy world made out of cheese or the sausage shaped like your protagonist. If you want to hook me into the "feel" of your work, let your pitch, query and manuscript do the talking.

10. Please DO NOT send feces, urine or other bodily fluids. Seriously. Just don't. Ew. (This did not happen to me, but rather to an industry friend of mine, and she will be closing up shop for a few months because of it).

The moral of the story? When someone (an editor, a publisher, an agent, somebody) says "Send me X", that's all you send them. And if you're confused what 'X' is....ask.

Happy writing.

What Not To Send An Editor Part 2

As someone you can hire to help you write better, get published, get edited, improve your sales and get things done, I get a lot of strange requests and offers for help.

Previously, I started a list of what not to send me (or people like me) to get to help you. This is a continuation of that list.

REMEMBER - You can avoid making these mistakes by starting conversations and making things WAY less awkward. You can avoid ending up on lists like this one.

1. Please DO NOT send food OR food for any pets. This is not elementary school, I am totally not going to be swept off my feet because you made me rice krispie treats with peanut butter and bacon on them. And no, it's very likely you don't know the brand of dog food my dog prefers. And even if you send me these food items wrapped in cellophane and duct tape, I have no idea if there's a juicy bubonic / Dengue fever core in your baked goods. Any food I get is immediately trashed, unless I happen to know you and have eaten your cooking at least once before. 

2. Please DO NOT send drugs. I don't care if your story is best read/edited after a few good bong hits and three tabs of acid. I don't care if you have a sweet connection for some Bolivian Marching Powder. DO NOT send me drugs along with your manuscript. Two things will happen - I call the police and I tell every agent/editor I can find not to talk to you. 

3. Please DO NOT imply death threats or violence against individuals, families or pets. I'm really sorry that your writing career isn't taking off the way you hoped. I'm really sorry that you haven't bought that island with the royalties of your thirtieth novel. I'm really sorry that five agents rejected you in January, and that you have come to me as your last resort, and that if I don't some how miracle you a best-seller one of us "is going to have trouble in the near future". Or "that barking dog isn't going to bother you anymore". Just as with #2 above, should that happen, the police get called, my lawyer gets called and everyone I know hears about it. 

4. Please DO NOT send "unrated" editions of your manuscript as a "bonus". It's so totally not a bonus to know that you have alternate versions of chapters 11-14 where the two protagonists engage in a steamy incestuous relationship involving mustard greens, decorative soaps and safe words with more than ten letters. If the agent or editor likes your work and wants to see it, send them what they're asking for. 

5. Please DO NOT send encoded materials. Okay, it's cute, your manuscript has like a Da Vinci Code cipher going on. Great, there's a whole second act with anagrams and puns. Nifty. But if the agent/editor wants to see the work, they shouldn't have to break out their Little Orphan Annie decoder ring in order to read your work. Be sure to drink your Ovaltine and send them what they're asking for, not Roman ciphers and cryptogram paragraphs. 

6. Please DO NOT think you're 'doing anyone a favor' by submitting your work. Okay, your query/pitch was intriguing, someone has asked to see more of your work. This is our job, this is what we do -- we're not singling you out from the human race and taking you aboard our space craft, nor are you the next great supreme chancellor of the galaxy. It's our job to look at work, and your job to send it. 

7. Please DO NOT include extra material "for when there's down time" or "when you're bored". I'm not sure if you know this, but my editorial schedule is now booked through LABOR DAY 2012. I mean yes, I have a few days off here and there so I can do things like laundry and grocery shopping and maybe, if I'm lucky go out to dinner with friends or family, but huge chunks of each month have been booked (And some months, booked completely). When I get bored, I have loads of other things to do that aren't editing. Ask yourself - when you get bored at your job, do you do more work to get less bored? Didn't think so. If I say send me a chapter or a manuscript or whatever, that's all I want. 

8. Please DO NOT sign me up for magazine subscriptions. If you are going to send me a package in the mail or via UPS or Fed Ex, please do not make use of whatever address I provide and sign me up for magazines, periodicals and random porn catalogs. I can use Google too, you're not showing me too much I haven't seen already.

9. Please DO NOT send a DVD along with your manuscript. If you send your manuscript and enclose with it a personalized DVD thanking me for reading your manuscript and/or considering taking you on as a client or student, do you want to know my first thought? That 90% of the time, these videos turn out like bad ransom demands from overseas. It's extra creepy, even if you use all the cool wipes and effects Adobe has to offer. Just send the manuscript. A thank you note/card/e-mail is totally appreciated after the fact, even if you get rejected.

10. Please DO NOT assume we're in some weird relationship. Okay, so someone in a position of authority has wanted to read your manuscript, that very intimate creation of yours where you risk your heart and soul to make it work. Yes, someone is paying attention to you, and is maybe even praising your skills. Don't freak out and confuse "working together" for "loving you". I love my clients the same way I love peanut butter, good NBA games, new dice and caffeine. But in none of those cases am I getting into a bed with them or whispering sweet nothings in their ear at 3am while we listen to the rain and wish we could dance for hours under the moon. You're a client. Not a spouse. Not a lover. Not a fling. Not even a masturbatory fantasy. DO NOT send your agent or editor love letters, intimate photos, locks of hair (of any kind) or detailed emails about what you did in the shower. Seriously. DO NOT DO THIS. IT WILL LEAD TO PEOPLE NOT WANTING TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR YOU. Not cool.

The weekend is coming. Hope you're going to be writing. Rock on.

What NOT To Send An Editor

As a consulting writer, I see a lot of submissions, either from people who send me their work and want an opinion, or people who send me their work hoping it will lead me to taking them on as a client.

Here's a small word of advice - If you'd like to be my client, talk to me a bit BEFORE you send your manuscript/masterpiece/board game/script/etc, if only for a few reasons:

1. It is entirely possible you won't like HOW I work.
2. It is entirely possible that you won't like how much I charge.
3. It is entirely possible I won't like how you comport yourself.
4. It is entirely possible that what you want to do/have done is not something I actually can assist you with. (Like website coding, managing your finances, making your ex realize the error of their ways or helping you figure out what to wear)

Talking to me first (send me an email or find me on Twitter if you want more immediate conversation) is a good idea. AND IT'S FREE. Take advantage of it.

Now, this evening, as I wait for things to be backed up online and people to reply to emails, I dig into my pile of "Things To Be Read" and grab a pen. This pile has already been vetted by TWO people by the time it reaches me, so usually, the contents of this pile are either things I need to follow up with, or fantastic teaching opportunities. Or they're stellar shining examples of great work that I don't shut up about.

But sometimes, things stay in the pile because they're so.......bad (let's be honest here) that, as the kids say, they're there for the "lulz".

Not "Oh wow this is comedy gold", but "Oh wait, no, no this has to stop, please, I beg you, no more". And it is to that point I speak tonight.

Please DO NOT SEND THE FOLLOWING THINGS TO AN EDITOR, EVER:

1. Please do not send your fan-fiction, relationship melodrama or "rewrites" of your favorite TV shows. Yes, I get it, you didn't like the whole Dawn-is-a-Key angle in Buffy, but that doesn't mean I want to read 300 pages about how you'd turn Dawn into a Slayer who kills with BDSM sex powers. Nor do I care that you think 'Huddy' was the ruination of House.

Chances are that what sinks your fan fiction isn't the premise but the execution. You may have some very valid perspectives and takes on an existing world. You may suggest some interesting plot variants. But the quality of your writing.....well, let's just say it should be professional. That means yes, check your spelling and grammar, and yes please oh please use paragraphs, complete sentences and punctuation.

2. Please do not beg that I take you on as a client. Yes, you may be the 99%. Yes, you may be deeply afflicted by terrible phobias and illnesses, and yes that is unfortunate. You may be the victim of abuses or neglect or short or tall or hungry or whatever you are -- but it is my job to make your work better and make you a better producer of that work, NOT get you over some therapeutic hump so that you can THEN get around to writing. I am not Freud, Jung, Rogers or Skinner. If you need help, get help. I'm here to help your work, and by extension, you - not the other way around.

3. Please do not send photos of the people "you'd like to prove wrong" by getting your book published. First, that's way creepy. Second, I would prefer not being an accessory to whatever plot you've cooked up late at night while you listen to Fleet Foxes in the dark.

4. Please do not send me information about my own life, to prove what you know about me. Great, you found me on the internet, and maybe you know who I dated, lived with, or what I did at this place or date. If you're doing that to coerce my working with you, that's creepy and mean. If you're doing that to create some sort of friendship...that's not how my friendships operate. Please don't do that.

5. Please do not send the same material under multiple names. (Names are made up in this example) If I don't reply back to "Erik", I would trust that "Erik" moves on and doesn't suddenly conscript "Erika" "Karen" "Skylar" "Darla" "Tim" and "Luigi" to send me the same email with the same attachment from new and exciting email accounts. Just like in life, NO means NO. Improve the pitch, improve the material, try again, yes, but don't think you're going to wear an editor into submission.

6. Please do not barter "favors". If you want me to work with you, it's easiest if you straight out ask, and make a good argument. Don't suggest that you'll wash my car, have your attractive friend sleep with me, offer to let me watch you sleep with someone else or, my personal favorite, "owe me one later." Really, it's not that hard to get me to work with you -- do a good job asking, work really hard, take my advice. Done.

7. Please do not do something 'above and beyond' what's asked. If I say, "Email me and we'll talk." I want you to....email me. If an editor says, "Send me a SASE", then they want an envelope. This is not code for "I'd like you to come to one of my workshops and sit in the back and stare at me for ten minutes before you speak" or "send a packing crate with hearts and glitter on it." An editor's job is exponentially easier if we can trust the writer(s) we work with to follow directions. If the directions are unclear, ASK.

8. Please do not push. I am known to be a quick and efficient email writer. If you send me a message, my reply is prompt and thorough. If for whatever reason it's taken me some time to reply to you (whether due to illness or busyness or business or the fact that I'm not in the office), sending multiple emails asking the same question is NOT going to help your cause. I do not respond well to being pushed. If the problem is urgent, yes, there are ways to reach me, but for the most part, you don't have to push if you want an answer.

9. Please do not make your editor your last resort. Just like I don't like being pushed, I don't like hearing that if I don't help you, you're killing yourself. I neither want the guilt or the knowledge. Don't.

10. Please do not send your editor dirt on other editors. So, you've come to me because Editors 1 - 6 weren't helpful? And you've decided to detail their flaws to me in an email, as if this will help persuade me? Interesting move. I should point out that it is very likely that the afternoon after you've sent me that email I will see Editors 1 - 6 some where and we'll have lunch or talk shop. Some of those people are my friends, I've been to their homes, played with their dogs and seen their babies. Yes I agree they can be irritating professionally, but you're not currying favor by telling me my friends suck and here's proof. Be professional, be adult, and as my mother says, "Suck it up, get a life, and move on."

Now, go enjoy your weekend. Character 101 begins on Monday.

How To Work With An Editor, Part 2

Previously, we talked about initiating the relationship between you (the author/creative person) and the editor, this morning I want to talk about what that relationship looks like in the day-to-day form.

Note: Not all editors function in this way, nor do they all use the same terminology or methods. If you're curious about how a particular editor works, ASK THEM.

Imagine this is Day 1 of working together. You've nervously emailed me your manuscript. And then you sit back and wait for the magical response emails to flood back at you. Maybe you're wondering what I'm doing to your manuscript. This is what I'm doing:

1. I'm chopping your manuscript into chapter/section-sized files, and making two copies. (Note: this is my method, other people....don't work this way)
2. On one copy, I'm double-spacing it and printing it out.
3. On the second copy, I'm working digitally.

For the print-out, I'm going through the pages by hand, circling and scribbling myself notes like:

"o.w." (one word) "hyphenate" "new paragraph" "no" "yes"

And then there's a series of furious underlines and symbols.

When I reach the end, I write questions, usually on the back of the last page. Questions like:


a) Did you mean for the two characters to be lovers?
b) How are you going to improve the next chapter, given that you've spent this chapter repeating yourself and not making any headway?
c) Where's the plot?
d) Which character am I supposed to be caring about?

For the digital copy, it's much the same thing, only this time, I make copious use of the 'Reviewing' Toolbar in Word.

Note: Only recently have I gotten into 'Track Changes' and it has made my work three to five times faster, allowing me to be more thorough in the comments.

Then, when the chapter is done, I email it to you. And at some point, should we meet in person, I'll also give you the hard copy with my handwritten notes on it.

This process repeats for all the chapters, until your book is done.

Depending though on what you've hired me for, you might also get some emails about particular issues I've found in your manuscript. These emails are basically lessons and examples of how to correct a particular flaw (like how to strengthen dialogue or how to build a better world readers will believe or something) or how to reduce your problems in the future.

Take a quick dance break. (DANCE DANCE DANCE WIGGLE WIGGLE)

So, how can you make this process easier?

I. Have a clear idea of what you think your manuscript's strengths and weaknesses are. The more you can put an somewhat objective finger on the inner workings of your manuscript, the easier it is for an editor to help you improve those areas.

II. Be honest about your manuscript. If you're not happy with pages 45 to 60, the time to tell me that is NOT when I'm about to start reading page 45. A little advance notice makes the editorial process so much easier.

III. Do the work. When you get these revisions back, it helps if you actually read them. It really helps if you actually implement them, but I'm not going to twist your arm....you should want your book/game/project/business/whatever to be better on your own -- if I have to prod you about your own project(s), then you may have other problems.

Hope that's helpful.

Happy writing.

Up next....your questions!